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Thursday
May022013

Preface and Day 1

Preface

Since I am currently homeless and have no musical equipment not much will be going on in the world of Uglyhead for at least a couple of months and I won't have much to blog about. 
So instead i am going to start posting some chunks of my 2008 US tour journal in chronological order.
I posted it all on my personal page (which no longer exists) and a lot of people found it interesting so I am going to start posting it here.
Before i start posting it I just want to apologize if anyone is offended by this. I will be changing the names of some people/places involved in this story and leaving some names in, as well as removing anything that pertains to illegal activity that could be used against anyone mentioned in the story (unless I hate that person, in which case I will post about what you did because I think you are a piece of shit).
Everything that is said in the journal is my own personal opinion pertaining to the events that transpired during the tour and no one should take any of my opinions as facts or truths or anything...
However I am entitled to voice my opinion about the events so if you were somehow involved and don't like what I am posting than maybe you should post your own story or stop caring so much about what I think (you obviously don't like me).

I also want to prep you for this tale with a couple of facts that you need to know:
-The musicians I was originally going to go on this tour with unexpectedly dropped out (we would be gone for too long) and I put out some ads and found a drummer (Patrick) and a guitarist (Brian). We literally had less than 4 weeks to rehearse for the tour and get the songs down. 4 weeks before the tour Patrick, Brian and I were complete strangers.

-I am a poor and unsuccessful musician and my budget for this tour was very limited.
Most of the advertisement for the tour was completely done online for free. I did invest in some really awesome full color 11x17 tour posters that looked like this:

Each poster had show info at the bottom and before we left we rolled them up and shipped them off to every club we had a show at. (as far as I am concerned they were the most important advertising device the tour had going for it).

-Again, I am poor so I looked for cheap ways to get around the country and found a person (whom will from here on out be known as "DRIVER X") who had a van and was willing to travel. It seemed ideal to be able to save $$$ and have an extra person around to help out instead of renting an expensive vehicle for an extended period of time.

-The tour took about 6 months to plan and I had the help of Julie (long time uglyhead friend). It was the most ground I have ever covered in my life. I tried to book a show every night for the tour and booking was extremely difficult for this sort of music (especially when many of the places we were going were places we haven't been before AND I had no idea how many people would show up to a show).

-this tour was very low budget and its purpose wasn't to make any substantial money.

- a lot more things happened on this tour than what I can share. What you will read is just an overview of the day to day goings on of an independently funded US tour. I cut some corners to keep it interesting.

I think that is all of the background info you need to know so...

Here we go...

DAY 1

The night before we are supposed to leave on tour I am scrambling about doing some last minute packing and organizing. Realizing any attempt I make to organize my life under the huge amount of anxiety I am feeling is completely futile, I decide to go to sleep.
I wake up with about 4 hours of sleep under my belt, gather some equipment, some merchandise, my luggage, a Rubbermaid tub full of road snacks and put them all by the front door of my house. I make my way to the bus stop filled with nervousness and take the bus to Capitol Hill (Seattle) where I am supposed to meet DRIVER X at 1 PM.

DRIVER X is the driver whom I met off of craigslist. Upon first meeting DRIVER X I noticed the guy was a bit off but after subsequent times of hanging out with the guy I realized we have similar musical tastes and that he is a nice guy. He sort of resembles a hippy who did too much acid at one point but claims to not currently do any drugs and hates hippy music. His musical tastes include Nurse with Wound, Whitehouse and Throbbing Gristle so I make the assumption that we share a common ground on some plane of weirdness.

I arrive at the rehearsal studio slightly ahead of schedule and wait for DRIVER X, who ends up being about 45 minutes late. DRIVER X and I return to my house and pick up my equipment, luggage and snacks, return to the rehearsal studio and meet up with Patrick (the drummer who recently moved to Seattle from San Antonio) and Brian (the guitar player who recently moved to Seattle from Albuquerque). We have some trouble working the service elevator at the studios but magically manage to pack the entire van to the brim with all of our stuff.

Before leaving I am filled with a huge urge to make a speech to all of the participants about working as a team and how we are all part of a common goal (to discourage inevitable arguments) but I am exhausted and tired and we are all adults so we just get in the van and start making our way towards the freeway.

Immediately I notice that DRIVER X is an exceptionally shitty driver. The guy seems to be scared of every car and sporadically slams on his breaks. He tends to be looking away or lighting a cigarette every time there is a red light and comes inches from hitting the cars in front of us. I am sitting in the front passenger seat doing some navigating and almost die of a heart attack about 30 times before we get to Portland.

Eventually we arrive at the Red Room in Portland. I am pleased to see that they have Uglyhead tour posters posted all around the club. I am not pleased to see that we are playing with completely incompatible bands, that the Red Room does not mic up any instruments, the Red Room PA is set up to only run vocals and that no one is there for us.

I find out that we are playing last. Julie shows up. I am attacked by a large bug in the back of the club. People drink and we play a crappy show that sounds terrible.

Conversations are held about how crappy the show is and we reluctantly pack 
all of our shit back in the van and head out again. At this point I realize that I am the only sober person so I volunteer to drive and get us out of town.
DRIVER X protests but eventually gives up his keys and I drive south towards San Francisco for roughly 3 hours while everyone naps.

I stop for gas and determine that DRIVER X is sober. He seems to be really offended that I took the keys from him in Portland and is very adamant about explaining to me how good of a driver he is (which makes me wonder how some of the exterior damage to his van was obtained). I let DRIVER X drive for a while and he gets us through to the morning...

TO BE CONTINUED... 

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